Hi,

This topic/thread is obviously about Domestic Abuse/Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse.

NOT a place to declare abuse in public - rather a place to hopefully become informed.  That said there is nothing to stop a survivor from sharing their story on here if they so wish.

For reassurance all help and advice for current victims is TOTALLY CONFIDENTIAL and professionally referred to appropriate ongoing help as part of a solution and help being put in place for anyone who needs it.

Why me posting this thread?  In my professional life I have been an IDVA - Independent Domestic Violence Advisor for many years and have experience in helping victims.  I also do not mind "going public" and stating that yes, I am a survivor of Domestic Violence myself.

I have just "retired" from 16+ very full-on years working full-time in the field as an IDVA.  I still run "role-play" sessions about DV at a college which trains support workers and am a guest lecturer in Domestic Violence Prevention & Early Intervention.

The aim of the Beaumont Society is to ensure that anyone who needs it can seek and be given help with overcoming Domestic Abuse.

I can be contacted via my profile of course and also as follows:

By Email: 

By Mobile or WhatsApp on: 07716 691213

I will start the ball rolling by outlining the "Did you Know?" for victims and for anyone who suspects they know someone who might be suffering from Domestic Abuse:

Members of the Trans & Non-Binary community are statistically at far higher risk of finding themselves in an abusive relationship.

So What Is Domestic Abuse?

A partner, ex-partner or relative who is mentally, emotionally or physically abusive toward you.

Verbal abuse can often consist of undermining your confidence. That cycle of abuse can often then escalate and become more and more serious in nature.

This abuse can consist of things like:

• Isolating you - from friends, relatives, health services and sources of support

• Monitoring or controlling you - for example, tracking you, hacking your social media accounts, insisting on viewing what is on your phone, making you stay in the house or limiting times you are allowed out.

• Telling you what you can and cannot wear or who you can and cannot see.

• Witholding or limiting your access to appropriate health care and/or medication.

• Degrading or punishing you - for example, not allowing you to eat or rewarding you only for behaviour which they see as “good”.

• Being financially controlling - for example, not allowing you to have your own bank account or having earnings or benefits paid only to the abuser. Demanding to see receipts, challenging what you have spent money on or insisting that certain things are “not needed”.

• Intimidating - for example, threats of violence.

• Being harmful towards pets or your belongings - this might be to manipulate, frighten or control you.

• Threatening to “Out” you as a means of damaging your reputation, causing distress and disruption.

• Being physically violent and harming you and/or being sexually violent towards you or making you engage in non-consensual sexual activity.

The above list is not exhaustive but gives a good indication of the things to look out for.

Please be respectful of this thread - by all means post appropriate questions or views but please do not minimize the effects of Domestic Abuse and the suffering it causes.

For the present that is introductions over with - There will be regular posts about the topic on this thread.