Is it ok for me to start drinking once the kids are at school?
Or does that make me a bad teacher?

Just found out the guy who installed my kitchen work tops, got sentenced to 5 years in prison..
Apparently it was for counter-fitting

A thief in the butcher shop got charged with chop lifting. The Judge said he mutton do it again.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she gave me a hug.

I've got an ABBA song stuck in my head.
I'll be singing it all day knowing me.

My wife tells me I can be an idiot sometimes...
I think it's pretty cool of her to give me permission like that