When I have a coughing fit it sounds like I'm shouting 'Queen', 'Bishop', 'Pawn'.
The doctor says I've got a chess infection.

I'm having a problem with nuisance phone calls.
The most common one is, "You said you'd be home from the pub two hours ago."

If I had £1 for every time I opened up the Clock app on my phone instead of the Calculator app, I’d have 12:42pm.

Of all the inventions, the pneumatic drill was the most groundbreaking.

The total number of people who get words wrong, would cover an area the thighs of whales.

I grew up in a rough area. Other kids would cover me in cake, cream and put a cherry on my head. Yes life was tough in the gateau.

I picked up a long piece of rope in the churchyard.
I asked the vicar if he knew where it came from.
He said “No, it doesn’t ring any bells for me!”

Why Iron-Man and not Fe-Male