Have a fab weekend, here's your Friday Funnies, Love Lynne xxx

Unbelievable, 364 days till Christmas and people have already got their trees up

I've just had an argument with this bloke on how to use a Stretcher Properly..

What a Carry On !!!

A rental car hit me while I was crossing the road. No bones were broken but I was badly bruised and it Hertz very much.

Went out for breakfast this morning, only to discover small cream coloured plastic tiles with black letters of the alphabet on them in amongst my food… turns out they’ve given me scrabbled eggs

My wife has left me because I never get things done on time.

Well, that's her off my Christmas card list this year

I asked the doctors receptionist out on a date.

She said she could see me three weeks on Friday

Someone asked me the other day how I felt after winning 'Kleptomaniac of the Year.'

I said , " I had to pinch myself."

Please don't forget, the scale's get put back one stone this week.