BREAKING NEWS:  Car crime is on the rise in Tokyo. According to reporter, Tommy Tookamota

I got a D in my spelling exams - still it's not the end of the world

My mate said "Is that smooth sandpaper you're using ?" I said coarse it aint...

Trekking round Devon resorts but phone reception not good. Glad I’ve got my walkie Torquay

I always miss working at the Air Conditioning factory. It was always a nice chilled atmosphere.

Recently’ I've become obsessed with trigonometry. Looking back, all the sines were there.

Went on a donkey ride whilst holidaying in Spain... who knew that donkeys went on holiday...

Well, to be Frank with you, I'd have to change my name.

I knocked on the door of a B & B and said I'd like to stay here. Owner said stay there then and shut the door

The police just knocked on my door and said they're all out looking for a man with one eye. I said, "You'll find him way quicker if you use both eyes!"

Just seen there's a new exhibition of paintings by King Charles. Should we now call him 'Artist formerly known as Prince'?

My girlfriend kicked me out yesterday because of my really bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions, but don't worry, I'll Return !!!