LynneJones October 4

Have a Fab weekend all xxx Here's your Friday Funnies…

I spilt some glue on the newspaper I was reading and got stuck on the crossword.

My friend is on this kick and says that drinking beer makes him wiser. I don't think beer will make my Budweiser.

When I was young, my mother told me to stop trying to rip my clothes, "or it'll all end in tears"

My friend’s mother is in a care home and they play nothing but board games. “Any chess?” I asked “No, we went private” he replied

My Calligraphy degree hasn't helped me get a job...But at least it looks good on paper

I went to the Doctors and said...........I've got a sinus headache, an abscessed tooth, itchy eyes, pain in my ears, runny nose.. What is wrong with me? "Doc: "Well, to be honest. I think it's all in your head."

St Repsils is the patron saint of sore throats!

A mate of mine accidentally swallowed some mercury. It hasn't affected his health too much,but on a hot day he's eight and a half feet tall!

I'm looking for help to re-create that famous opening scene from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark." Who wants to start the ball rolling?

For my birthday I got an alarm clock that swears instead of beeping. That was a rude awakening.

Love Lynne xxx