Friday Funnies for 24/01/2025

Humorous 0 replies 0 votes 3 views
LynneJones 2 weeks

The drummer in a local band named his four daughters…

Anna 1 Anna 2 Anna 3 Anna 4


Both of my dogs float. They have Good Boyancy.


I just saw this fella going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet.

I thought: “He’s pushing his luck!”


I just found the best dating app for really old folk. It's called Carbon Dating


I had to get on the Doctor's couch so he could examine me

Prostrate?

No, I was sat up


Where do the people who live in Tipperary think it’s a long way to?


I asked the librarian if they had a copy of "The History of WD-40?"She said "Yes, it's in the Non-Friction section."

  

Interviewer: How do you perform under pressure?

Me: Not as well as Queen and Bowie.

 

'A fool and his money are soon parted'!

It's not going to happen to me, l gave it to my wife to look after.


I just bought myself a turntable. For the record.


I hate people who use metaphors that are physically impossible.

They make my blood boil.

  

My daughter's new boyfriend plays in goal for Utd and is a keen apiarist. He's definitely a keeper.

 

I'm being moved to a different department at the prosthetics factory.

Its so annoying. I'm up in arms…


I tried to write a song about alcoholics but I only got past the first few bars.