If you haven't been to a Pride before, this will give you an idea of what you can expect. The event was good as these things go, but I won't say where it was, or name anyone, because that isn't the point, Enjoy…

"So, me and my trans friend went to this Pride in this town near us last weekend.

"We go on the train so we could 'have a few jars. We get there before the march starts, and go to 'Spoons for a full English and a couple of drinks, get set up for the day. Everyone in the pub garden is cool with us. We miss the march and people holding banners and shouting things about JK Rowling and Trans rights are human rights, and all that malarkey, and get to this park where it's happening.

"It IS happening, credit where is due. It's been going three years, and it's bigger than it was. There's a few hundred people there, stalls selling things, charity stalls, the Samaritans, food, a couple of drinks stalls. These girls are singing on the stage, and this compere bloke is doing this DJ bit. My mate says she wants to go over and see our pal on this stall, cos our pal's helped set this Pride thing up, so that's what we do.

"Our pal who's set all this up has been there since early morning. She ropes my mate into selling badges and that. And then our pal goes off somewhere, cos they're one of the organisers and they've got things to do. It's going okay with the badges and they don't need both of us to help, there's a couple of others there too and my mate's doing all right. So, I go back to the stage where there's all these menopausal cis women singing these cheesy songs to backing tracks. They're called Rock Choir, all got the same tee shirt on, saying it.

"My missus was in her local Rock Choir a few years ago after I went to live with my boyfriend, I saw them a few times back then, and it made me sad. She's dead now, it's been a few months. I'm okay about it most of the time, but every now and then I get a reminder. Like now. Rock Choir do this Queen song, Don't Stop Me Now, which my missus and her lot sang back in the day, and it made me cry. Proper pouring down. So, here's me, standing in this field on my tod, crying my heart out, and not even one of the bastards comes up and says are you okay? They probably think I've overdone the hormones or something. Anyway, I get a beer, and bump into some nice older trannies I know. and a drag queen, with oversize fake tits like Kenny Everett had on his TV show. We have a laugh when one of us says to the drag queen, can I squeeze your ****, and the drag queen makes a honking noise like clowns at the circus.

"I go back to the stall, and our pal whose stall it is has come back now from wherever she's been, so me and my mate go for a gander at what else is about, and we find our tranny mates from our town, and end up in this pub by the canal. There's four of us there having a drink and these two pissed blokes get chatting to us, and one wants to shag one of us, but he ain't going about it right. Then it gets messy and the "wanna-shag" guy starts being rude to one of our trans mates, who ain't no oil painting but she's okay. This pissed bloke is calling her 'him,' despite her correcting him, and saying she's ugly, we’re on it and we start giving matey the verbal’s, and tell 'im e's a Jeremy Hunt. Course, now matey wants to belt someone but his mate's bigger than him and restrains him, and then we leave and go back to our town. Like I said, it so nearly kicked off…

"Funny thing is, the next evening three of us trans people were in this tranny boozer back in our town watching the football, in this big room with all this other lot, who weren't trans, and it didn't get lairy at all."